| Sally = cocaine
Mary = marajuana
This is a story about me, some of my good friends, and some of the bad ones. Driving through town with a full car, people I feel into addiction with, and drugs that fell into addiction with us. Life was great. Girls, street cred, respect, friends, money, music, and drugs. This is what I thought life was. Every night, running the streets with the crew everyone looked up to, relied on, and couldnt have a party without. Along the way, I picked up some more friends; one of which was green and looked so good. When I didnt have it, I was trying to make it to spend on my other friends, Sally and Mary. Sally was beautiful. For a long time, Sally and I would spend time with each other every night. Just the sight of her could make my heart race. She was whiter than snow and could take away all of my problems. When I wasnt with her, the thought of having her constantly filled my mind. Every time I would spend time with Sally, Id fall more and more in love; always finding myself craving another dose of my medicine. Then there was Mary. She smelled so sweet and tasted even better. When I had her and Sally at the same time, I was in my own little Heaven; another world where nothing mattered and no one bothered me. The feeling I would get when nine or ten of us were all doing Sally and Mary at the same time was amazing. We were invincible, nothing could harm us. It felt so good that, everyday, I started going out at night after school to get both drugs and my wing-man so I wouldnt be the only one enjoying the feeling. I fell prey to doing more and more; going from a little touch of my tongue on Sally, to cutting up lines with her, to grinding rails, to blowing fat piles that couldnt even be called lines. Then, when I was so blown that I couldnt stand to fuck her once more for a couple hours without puking, I turned to Mary for sanity. I never had enough Mary when I was with Sally and visa-versa. This turned into another problem. I lost my other friend, money. To get him back, I started to sell Sally and Mary to anyone who was in need. This became an addiction as well. Going through a half-pound of Mary, to a pound, to three or four pounds a night. Going through a quarter ounce of Sally, to a half-ounce, to an ounce, to two or three ounces a night. Watching the money come and go, the parties go and come, and my life changing dramatically. I was perfectly fine with all of this and didnt think I needed anything else. What more could I ask for? I had fun, friends, drugs on demand that cost me next to nothing, and thousands of dollars coming and going in and out of my hands every night. I had power, protection, a tight crew, and respect from everyone. Nothing could be better, right? Wrong. I was pushing people away that really cared about me every single day and losing people that I really cared about and I didnt even realize it. I was blinded by my lifestyle; riding dirty everywhere I went. My only concern was keeping a close eye of the 5-0s in my rear-view mirror. Then, one night, I put in a CD with a song on it. This song was the song of me and one of my close friends that I hadnt heard from for a while. This stirred up the thought that I was really here without you and I decided to give this friend a call. I got no answer. I tried three times a day for three days before someone finally picked up the phone. This is when I found out that I lost them too. That was the point where I realized I needed to clean up. I have been clean since but the chance for a big deal came up and I took the chance. I thought I could pull it off one last time and start over with the money. Once again, I was wrong. That 5-0 in my mirror started to follow me. Then, the lights went on, along with the siren that I grew a hatred for. I stopped in my driveway with the police car behind me. Thats when the gun came out, pointed at my head until more police got there, twenty-three in all plus the SWAT team and forensics. I was pulled out of my car at gunpoint and bent over on the back of a police car. My arms were twisted and ripped behind my back where there was a pair of handcuffs waiting for my hands to rest in. I sat in the back of one of the many patrol cars watching the police cuff and search my wing-man. Thats when they found the blow. Then, it was the pipes, blunt-wraps, digital scale, and the money that they took in a box over to the forensics van. I was taken to the state barracks in Bethlehem following a tow truck with my car on the back. I stayed at the station, handcuffed to a wall for seven hours; no food and no drink. Then, they questioned us and took us to Cedarbrook detention center where I stayed detained for a week and a half. I turned eighteen and went over to the prison to await my trial. I could only think of a few things at that point in time. My parents, how I disappointed everyone, and the person I was trying to hunt down for what seemed like forever. That last thought made me realize that I needed help to do what I wanted to do; recover. I started reading the Bible, praying, apologizing to people, and seeking help. Trial came and God answered my prayers. Against all odds and twelve first and second degree felonies, I got out of lock-up and came home. Im awaiting a disposition hearing and started going to rehab. Im desperately trying to get the old, old John that everyone loved back and I need all your help. I hope this encouraged some of you and made some of you think about how you live. Drugs and/or money arent the way out. You lose too much. Some things you can get back with time and others, you will never get back againand thats what hurts the most. |
